Granted Time…
Granted Time…
There is a shadow across the room, his body moves as each breath is taken in and released with such ease. It reminds me of peace, it reminds me of the feeling he gives to me.
His quiet slumber, I wonder where his dreams take him, I imagine I am sometimes there in the corners of his mind but when I’m not – when all is quiet inside of him, I sit in silence watching this man who has come to mean so very much to me.
I am thankful for his existence, for his warm embrace, for his ever vibrant smile that in turn fills me with a great happiness I have longed to know.
My head falls though from time to time in sadness as a reality of life reminds me how short the days are, how quickly things can change and fear rushes through me because I have chose to love someone so completely. What if’s fill my heart, my pulse races in hopes of running from the ghosts that haunt me, the ghosts who still linger so deep within my heart though they can’t be with me.
I would give to him eternal life if only I could share that life with him for it would not be the same without him. The shadow stirs, the blankets move, I long to reach over and hold him but for now I sit here in the corner of my room watching the love I exhale enter his lungs.
I’d stay with him forever if the Gods of this life would grant me such a gift but too I fear as I always will the harsh realities of death. Until death do us part – the vows of marriage tell us – but how could I leave him in death when in life I cannot live without him? How is it I have come to need him so – how have I let my heart fall so completely into his arms?
The night drifts onward, the time ticks slowly by – just for now – just for now while I reflect upon the beauty I have come to own because I am grateful for his love. These are the times when the Gods grant us our time – when moments go slowly by so they can forever be remembered and held close against our chest, so that when the time comes – when in death we do part we will find we have never left each other’s side and my wish to grant him eternal life should he leave me first – granted in my heart and soul as forever he shall be there in the corners of my heart’s love.
My fears of leaving him, should that time come, I pray I have given him these moments so that for an eternity of time I too can remain by his side. I fear the darkness would consume me without him. Love is a strange and wondrous existence in the hearts of those who never take for granted these moments given – the quiet times when shadows move across the room breathing in the life of the other who fills their heart with a happiness only they can.
copyright Kristy Tallman – December 2007
