Hotel California…
Hotel California….
It’s the live version of the Eagles playing – the crowd cheers as they bring forth the common melody which lets everyone know the song they are about to play. The lighters flicker in the darkness as the guitars play….its a beautiful sight to behold – the tiny rays of life’s flames burning brightly.
The vision carried me through the wind, the song carried on through my heart and soul – I didn’t have a clue why I was leaving or where I might go. I just wanted to ride – ride until I couldn’t anymore. The song seemed fitting so I sang along as it played inside my head.
On a dark desert highway – cool wind in my hair….the iron horse beneath me was all that could be heard for miles. Clouds covered the moon’s glow and my headlight was all that shown upon the dark canvas that seemed to surround me. The song stuck in my head because as I had always wondered now I was living the dream.
Have you ever wanted to get on your bike and ride, ride as far as you can to California – where the sun sets following it into its night….just ride until you can’t ride any more. Like an old western when the hero cowboy rides his horse off into the sunset of a happy ending. The only difference is my horse is iron and my ending well – I just don’t know what that will be – I guess I’ll just keep driving – find out when I get there.
Up ahead in the distance I saw a shimmering light – it grew heavy and my sight grew dim….I had to stop for the night…..I had been riding it seemed for days but I know I had just set out this morning – though I had put many miles under her wheels today. My heart was heavy and my soul was wary, my life had taken on a course that I just didn’t want to follow anymore. I thought to myself about what I should do and again that childhood dream of running away as far as I could came to mind. Doesn’t it for everyone or am I just a bit odd? Who knows – who cares – right now I just want to lay my head down on a pillow and feel the crisp cool sheets covering my body after a warm shower.
In the middle of nowhere I ride up on a hotel. It was an ancient one – from days gone by – it looked like I felt – dry – dusty – a bit run down but inviting all at the same time. I pulled my iron horse up to the doors, kicked down the stand and swung my leg over to dismount my dearest friend. I walked up to an oversized entrance not expecting to be greeted by anyone.
The song echoed in the back of my mind…I wondered if it was a dream or if I had somehow transported into a world where dreams become reality.
There he stood in the doorway – I heard the mission bell – I was thinking to myself this could be heaven or this could be hell. I wondered had I finally made it here – if so I might have to say it was heaven because he made my mouth water and my body shiver all at the same time. I followed his voice and watched as he turned to show me inside.
The song echoed on as did my reality or dream I wasn’t sure…he lit up the candle and he showed me the way – there were voices down the corridor thought I heard them say – Welcome to the Hotel California – such a lovely place, such a lovely place, such a lovely face – - yes he was fine and it had been far too long since I had felt the strength of a man wrapped in my arms….
I wondered was the place haunted or was it just my tired mind playing tricks on me – the voices began to sing….there’s plenty of room down at the hotel California – any time of year you can find it here.
I sat my saddlebags down at the bar, my lips were parched, the air was dry and my throat craved to feel the wetness of some sweet nectar of times gone by. So I called up to the captain please bring me my wine – he said we haven’t had that spirit here since 1969.
Disappointed as I was I ask him for a beer and waited until it arrived all the time watching the man at the doorway wondering if he liked his job. I also wondered if he was in the least interested in the woman who just rode in on her iron horse obviously longing for a man’s touch. My mind wandered as I sipped down my second beer took two more and ask for a room on one of the higher floors.
The captain called over to the delicious doorman and asked that he show me the way…I followed the whole time watching his ass and thinking how I’d love to dig my nails into them – but who was I kidding I’m sure I was a mess and the long ride in the sun kissed wind probably made me look like something the cat drug in. He could hardly be interested in me but none the less I could pretend. After all I was walking through my childhood dream I had made it to the edge of the earth where the sun sets and standing in front of me was a man I’d take to my eternal bed.
The door opened into a very lovely room. A Spanish decor with arched windows where cotton curtains hung, sometimes flowing with the lightly scented breeze. I noticed…still those voices are calling from far away – you could imagine them waking you up in the middle of the night just to hear them say – Welcome to the Hotel California – such a lovely place – such a lovely face.
He lit another lamp over by the bedside revealing more of the room. He offered to draw a bath for me or gave me the option to have one of the ladies do it – there was no question who I wished to have draw my water. He left the room to retrieve the water, I could hardly wait for his return. I studied the room more in the shadows of a oil lamps dim light.
Mirrors on the ceilings – pink champaign on ice – he said we are all just prisoners here of our own device. He startled me as he had just left or so I had believed – yet he was already back and pouring my bath. Prisoners of our own device? I asked of him.
“Yes my lady, of our own device.”
I walked behind the area where I could undress, wrapped a fluffy white towel around me and walked toward the tub that awaited me in the middle of the room. He kept his head held high and turned to look away as I slipped from the towel into the warm water that was drawn for me.
As I washed the dust and dirt off I began to feel a bit more alive, ” What was your device?” I asked him.
He cleared his throat and as I thought he was about to answer I felt his hand take away the sponge I held. He dipped it lightly in the water and began to wash my face, pushing my hair away from my eyes and as he did I realized we owned the same vice. He had been my lover and I had been his, but how strange, how had we came to be here?
My bath was the most sensuous one I had ever had and when it was only over because the water had went cold. He held up my towel and bid me to step into it and as I did he wrapped it and his arms around me.
“You were suppose to ride away with me…” I uttered…then turned to look into his eyes. “How is it you are here before me?”
He kissed me softly on my brow and led me over to the bed. He drew back the crisp clean sheets and laid me down in a kiss that took me back to what I had believed was a dream. My lover – my lost lover had come back to me but where had he been. Why did he leave? Then he answered my inner thoughts without me revealing them…
“Yes my lady, of our own device.”
My device was him.
“And you were mine.” he replied.
I was growing confused and scared all at the same time. My lover was to leave with me on this ride but something happened and somehow I took it alone. I rode my iron horse out to the sunset searching for my happy ending, searching for him and had somehow found myself in our childhood dream….riding until we couldn’t ride anymore…to California – to the edge of the world. He said he would come with me……It occurred to me I shouldn’t have come.
Relax said my lover noticing my fear, I am only here to receive, you can check out any time you like but you can never leave.
“Never leave?” I asked – “Never leave?”
He took me into his arms and shed me of my towel, exposing my naked body. He reminded me why he had become my vice as I felt the love return the warmth that had become so cold in me. The night wore on and so had we, making love through the midnight hours only….
Either I fell asleep or the sun never rose because when I woke up he was still there – the room remained as I thought I had dreamed. And the voices sang…..Welcome to the Hotel California – such a lovely place, such a lovely place, some dance to remember – some dance to forget – I danced to forget the pain of losing him and danced to remember being in his arms again. I had rode into my sunset with him after all – we had managed to make it here together – I prayed never to be released – for him never to leave – I had found my peace – here at the Hotel California….such a lovely place – such a lovely place…..
© Kristy Tallman – October 2008
