Flowers in December

Trust in me…

Trust in me and I shall bring no harm to you,
I will keep you, a kept sacraficial lamb
too precious to share with another soul,
a soul alone; a dance dreamed;
a vision of ecstasy drifting on a cloudless sea
of what some might cast as the hue of misery.

a gentle breeze whispers in your ear,
my voice always kept alive,
always sending chills down the spine
which connects the electrical impulses
of erotic love, beyond – beyond -

closer she brings her soul unto he,
the lamb his to tend to for eternity now,
a vow spoken on the winds of desire,
trust in me and I shall bring you no harm,
your heartbeat a solitary motion of my own.

Precious, porcelain skin like silk
in the shimmers of a rainy moon,
the reflections of love dance
in the puddles that form beneath
the window’s sill. Significant to no one
no one, but her, no one but him, -

because they are closer -
closer than any human’s can be.

(c) by Kristy Tallman – May 2009 – All rights reserved in whole and part unless otherwise given written permission by me.

Posted in My Poetry

The Sanctity of One With You….

She would die for you…
to touch you..
to become that sanctity of one with you…

She’s drowning in a sea of ecstasy
waiting for her drug to kick in…
Deeper she cries…
deeper inside where the nightmares dwell

You voice distant
to far off to hear…
yet the slightest moan
she feels to the core,

it burns,
it twists
ike a knife
tearing her apart…

She’s waiting for you…
wondering
how you can sleep through
the dance of her fingers,
the caress that gives you chills…
are you asleep she wonders…

She would die for you….
she hungers for you…
she couldn’t wait for you
so she embraced
her own flight through Eden….
not alone…with you….
after all it tis her fantasy.

A naughty rhythm streams
through her body,
the ache too much to bear,
the desire
its fire out of control,
she touches you,

she whispers “wake up….play with me…”

left to the devices of silence
and still moments she tries again….

“I want you….let me have you…”

a gentle kiss
caresses his shoulder blade
as her body slithers away
like the snake into the forest floor,
her breast erect;
pulsating with warmth,
between her panties
she’s deliciously wet
but alas still is the night,
silent is his motions….

she can’t stop what already began……..

her fingers are met
by the rushing waters that flow,
crippled the creek
in its motion as her body moves
bring her near…
one caress,
two caress;
in between
lies him
and the once blank wall…

her canvas now

shadows reflect from the televisions
silent light,
she hushes herself afraid to let go
to the point of tears,
its too late –
the soft moan escapes
into the darkness of light
she creates while you slept
away the dream…

her body grows rigid
in the moment of pleasure’s bliss,
she would die for you, she wanted you
but tonight…
he didn’t awaken to her calls –
calls like the wolf’s
lonesome howl in the moonlight….
now her body relaxes but strangely

she’s still hungry….

“more” she whispers into the silence of motion,
the rhythm of desire,
left to the devices of lust,
hunger, a need to feed,
a need to feel the skin
beneath her nails
as she releases her exotic screams….

the dream reels on the blank canvas…
the wall she danced upon…grew dim
waiting to get close to you,
to be part of you…
to become that sanctity
of one with you…

© Kristy Tallman, March 28, 2009

All rights reserved and protected by copyright laws.  Any violations of such laws in part or whole will be

followed by legal action unless written permission has been given by myself.

Posted in My Poetry
Tags: explicit, Flowers In December, hunger, Kristy Tallman, love, lust, poetry, poetry by kristy tallman, sexual

For you….

No matter where you go,
no matter how many miles
that come between us,
if there’s silence,
there’s always a whisper,
a moment when you will find
on a soft breeze the sounds
of my voice -
callin’ out to you -
callin’ out for you.

I have traveled high
I’ve traveled low,
some days are good
while others I feel like
I’m losing my mind
but in the warmth of your arms
I keep on trying,
no matter how hard it is
I keep on trying
to find my way back -
find my way back to you -
the one who keeps me grounded -
the one who keeps me sane
even when I can’t be.

Sometimes I’m carried off on a wind,
carried off on a feeling
of not wanting to exist
but I couldn’t go if I wanted to
because I need -
I need -
I need you.

No matter how far away
my thoughts are,
no matter how many miles
the silence brings
between our hearts
I can hear you,
the first time
you whispered my name,
the first time
you made me feel alive -

so no if there’s a moment
I don’t seem to be with you,
know in my heart you always are
because I keep on holding,
keep on holding onto you…

Too many times
you catch me when I fall,
you heal my soul
and give me what it takes to go on,
you warm my heart
when a cold wind blows,
so when my heart
feels like it’s dying,
I’ll keep on trying,
keep on holding,
keep on living -
living for you…

Sometimes I’m carried off on a wind,
carried off on a feeling
of not wanting to exist
but I couldn’t go if I wanted to
because I need -
I need -
I need you.

© Kristy Tallman, March 20, 2009

All rights reserved and protected by copyright laws.  Any violations of such laws in part or whole will be

followed by legal action unless written permission has been given by myself.

Posted in My Poetry
Tags: Kristy Tallman, Kristy's Blog, love poetry, poems, poetry, poetry by kristy tallman

As quietly as a mouse in the corner she sits,
Watching through the blur of tears
that have overshadowed her world.
Disappointment, pain, defeat without the promise of hope –
yes that’s all she can see, all she can see anymore.

Talk about your feelings, tell others what pain they cause –
she meekly looks up and asks in a soft whisper,
”Why? – Why should I?
No one seems to notice the darkness
that used to be blue, no seems to notice the pain I endure –
at least if they do its just a bother to them.”

He sits across the room,
watching her watching the floor,
watching her eyes follow the lines in the wooden planks
grown old with age, it reminds him of how old she has become
to be so young – he wonders what has been so bad on earth
that could have let this be done.
Continue reading ‘In the corner of life….dying….’

Posted in My Poetry
Tags: death, dying, Kristy Tallman, Kristy's Blog, life, loss, loss of a child, My Poetry, poems, poetry, poetry by kristy tallman, prose

No Rest For The Weary…..

Laying in my bed,
watching a disease
suffocating me,
as I pray for sleep-
only to find

it never comes…

Too many thoughts traverse
through the corridors
of my undefined mind,
delusions of fear take over
because nowadays…

the sand man passes me by….

Adrift to dream,
dream to drift,
nothing comes but images
and thoughts that won’t shut up,
a new crime my body commits,
a lack of sleep makes one mad
as it drains my brain
of the essence of life.

So tired I feel,
eyes are heavy,
why won’t they just close,
find their way home,
find their passage
to the hollow halls
where quiet rests,
there is no rest
no rest for the weary…..

Too many thoughts traverse
through the corridors
of my undefined mind,
mixed emotions,
broken mirrors in a fun house
but it isn’t fun anymore,
confusion takes over
making it harder…
ever harder to find
that peaceful place
called sleep…..

Questions arise
like a vicious spirit
haunting my mind
kicking the covers to and fro,
worries arrest my body,
pain flows with such malice
through my innocent veins,
what used to be isn’t anymore,
nothing makes it go away,
everything hurts,
but tears won’t come,
pain can’t find escape
no more than the blood
that runs through us
lest death takes over….

I don’t want to die,
I don’t want to be sick,
I don’t want to always be so tired
because sleep doesn’t come,
I want to breathe again,
I want to feel
what it feels like to sleep…..

Too many thoughts traverse
through the corridors
of my undefined mind,
delusions of fear take over
because nowadays…

the sand man passes me by….

So I pray for sleep….

I pray for peace….

I pray for sleep…

I pray…I pray…

only sleep never comes…

© by Kristy Tallman – February 2009.

All rights reserved and protected by copyright laws.  Any violations of such laws in part or whole will be

followed by legal action unless written permission has been given by myself.

Posted in My Poetry

There

a soft melody plays
in the corners of a dusty old bar,
no one’s there
except a few other lonely souls -
kindred souls like me,
they come to be here
because There is too quiet -
There is too much solitude
for one mind to endure -
There is where everything is real.

she walked over to the jukebox -
put her dollars in -
picked the same song to play,
over and over again….

flowers in december…
a sad somber song
that left those around her
fiddling with the stirs
in their mixed up lives
just watching as their pain serum
spins around the strangely shaped glass.

reflections they couldn’t bare to see,
stir them and watch the whirls
take away the images that haunt them each day….

let the drink sit still
and it’s rim breaks into a sweat
just like they do every morning
when they await whatever hour it is
they’ve determined its time
to take away the pain…
like they sing sometimes -
it’s 5 o’clock somewhere…
a place they’d rather be.

she dances alone
on the wooden planked floor -
the bar not much but a hole in the wall -
a forgotten town -
a lost dream of the entrepreneurs
who once believed in something…anything.

the old bar keep watches on
with a twinkle in his eye,
he knows her sadness as she dances
with a ghost
who’ll never hold her again,
she’s standing on his shoes
and as aged as the whiskey makes her,
he remembers the days when her daddy
used to twirl her around to the sounds
of a song that wasn’t so sad.

a man down on his luck
just lost his job a few weeks ago,
he packs his lunch
and kisses his wife and kids goodbye every morning
then finds his way a short piece down the street –

There – where he spends his days -
There he sits at the bar watching
and wondering will he end up
as crazy as she is
or will he just end it all.
how can he go home
to tell his wife and their kids
there’s no more money,
no more jobs,
no where to go, except for There –

There where drinks take away sorrows -
There where little girls dance with their fathers -
There where a bar tender dries
the same glass over and over again
knowing it won’t be long till someone else
comes through the darkened doors to sit with them.

yeah a soft melody plays
in the corners of a dusty old bar,
no one’s There
except a few other lonely souls
like you and me,
they come to be here
because There it’s too quiet -
There it’s too much solitude
for one mind to endure -
There is where everything is real.

an old man who withers away
his liver rotting these days
but still he manages to find
the serum that puts the pain at ease -
he shuffles over to the dancing girl
and wraps his arms around her tiny waist…
kisses her on the forehead and whispers in her ear….

flowers in december are forever Here,
flowers that no one can see but us
and baby girl you’ll always be
daddy’s little girl Here….

Here where no one knows you are,
Here where no one can see your pain
except the ones who carry the same,
in a glass where the whiskey is nicely aged,
it swirls with a tiny stir
that sends reality away…
and hides the reflections
they can no longer bare to see.

© Kristy Tallman – January 2009

Posted in My Poetry

When my daughter passed away three years ago come November 28th this song was what held me when no one else could, this is the song that always made me feel like there was a reason she couldn’t be here with me and there was a reason I didn’t get to say goodbye. Its horrible to loose your child but its the worst kind of pain you will ever know when you can’t hold them through the pain they had, or not even know if they had any. There’s no way to know what she said if she was ever awake – you hate the fucking tree that took her life or was it a deer that crossed the road and out of the kindness of her soul she tried to miss it. I miss her so fucking much but I have two other children I’m blessed with and a step daughter now who I have to always remain strong for. I don’t know which is harder. I don’t know how to grieve for my baby whose gone – I don’t know how to hide my pain to keep my babies happy who are with me. I’m pretty fucked up as most mothers are who lose a child. But if you’re one of those mom’s who have lost a child and didn’t get to say goodbye – maybe this song will help you like it helps me.

Look on Down From the Bridge, by Mazzy Star

Look on down from the bridge
There’s still fountains down there
Look on down from the bridge
It’s still raining, up here
Everybody seems so far away from me
Everybody just wants to be free
Look away from the sky
It’s no different when you’re leaving home

I can’t be the same thing to you now
I’m just gone, just gone
How could I say goodbye
How could I say goodbye
Goodbye
Maybe I’ll just place my hands over you
And close my eyes real tight
There’s a light in your eyes
And you know–yeah, you know
Look on down from the bridge
I’m still waiting for you….

One day I will see her again – one day I will know the answers that I wonder every day and one day I will hold her the way I wish I could have that day. May any of you who have lost someone suddenly in life feel some hope in knowing you’re not alone in your pain. It always feels that way at least for me. My ex-husband has all my babies things and I only have a few things that I can hold onto but as time passes her scent has left her clothes, and no matter how many times you pick them up to hold them you can’t feel her inside them. You feel like you want to die right with them but its not our time. Hell I had a massive heart attack at 36 not even a year after she passed and I sit here with an angel’s heart beating for what used to be my own. She saved my life I like to believe but there are days when I wish I wasn’t here and I could be with her if its just for that moment – the one I’ve been waiting for since her last breath was taken.

Special thanks goes to Mazzy Star for the beautiful song that helps me more than she could probably know or understand when she wrote it.

RIP – Ashlie Nicole Stell – June 30, 1988 – November 28, 2005

Posted in Just Thoughts...
Tags: 2005, Ashlie Nicole Stell, death, look on down from the bridge, loss, loss of a child, mazzy star, Thomas Dale High School